Hollywood is Officially Out of Ideas

For reasons that escape me right now, I was looking at upcoming releases of movies. I do most of my movie watching by getting DVDs from the library. (My PC won’t play Blu-ray disks.) It’s free, and I love free. The shows and movies are new if I’ve never seen them before.

And I don’t give Hollywood, and their insanity industry, even a shinny nickle of my money. (Which I like.) But I do occasionally see a movie in the theater if I think it will be worth it. (The last movie I paid to see was Wonder Woman, and it was worth the price of admission.)

But anyway, in that search for upcoming movies I eventually tripped over yet another version of Charlie’s Angels, which the folks involved described as follows.

Reboot of the 2000 action comedy based on the 1970s television series.

If that doesn’t scream, “We have no idea what to do next,” I don’t know what would. (Well, there are some other candidates for that in the list below.)

Other stuff planned for this year… A remake of Child’s Play, another Rambo movie, another installment of The Fast and The Furious (which seems to be veering into Science Fiction). A new Jumanji movie, and another Star Wars installment. A remake of Midway, that won’t be nearly as good as the original, though I’m sure the special effects will be superb. Do we need another Terminator movie with both Linda Hamilton and Arnold Schwarzenegger? Well one is teed up for later in the year. DC is giving us Joker. (Is it the DC Cinematic Universe?) A hand full of sequels (for movies that shouldn’t have been made in the first place) and some kids movies. Add in a few Social Justice screeds, and you have the entire year. Well, there is the upcoming Spider-Man movie, in case you haven’t had enough of the Marvel Cinematic Universe.

Someday Hollywood is going to do something interesting and unique, and I will fall out of my chair. In the meantime, I guess the really new and interesting stuff is on Netflix/Hulu/Amazon/whatever.

Oh, and as far as the Star Wars franchise films go… I defer to Larry Correia: My Russian Bot Review of The Last Jedi. (All the bad reviews were supposed to be from Russian bots.)

So today, don’t think of me as American novelist Larry Correia. I’m Lavrenty Krasnov, Cossack movie reviewer, who thinks that the Last Jedi was a dumpster fire of suck. Pass the vodka, comrades, because shit is about to get real.

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