They still miss a lot. Restraining orders ‘just a piece of paper’ without a plan, advocates say. Still, they told the truth, even if it was by accident.
A sad story of a woman and her children killed by her estranged husband after she spent a day getting a restraining order.
The day before she was murdered, Rosario spent hours at a San Diego courthouse getting a restraining order against her spouse, Jose Valdivia. She’d threatened to get one before, Rosario wrote in court documents, but Valdivia told her it wouldn’t do her any good.
And it didn’t.
The article quotes people in the victim-support-industry about the need for plans.
Advocates say plans are tailor-made for each individual, but some common components include: putting together a list of emergency contacts, making copies of important documents and giving them to someone you trust, creating new habits — like shopping at a different grocery store — that aren’t familiar to an abuser, changing wireless and cellphone passwords and limiting location sharing on social media.
Self-defense? Pepper spray? A firearm? Anything? Of course not. The victim-support-industry is not interested in getting abused spouses to refuse to be victims. They have shelters to fill, and lawyers to pay. Giving important documents to a friend or relative will not keep you safe. Having a list of contacts will not keep you safe, unless you write it on the inside of a bullet-proof vest. And then you wear the vest.
As for “shopping in a different grocery store” that misses the biggest issues. To and from work. Picking up and dropping off kids at school and daycare. Attending religious services. All of these activities involve being in a known location on a set schedule, and all of those places are “gun free zones” so the potential victim is disarmed. For whose safety? “You don’t need a gun in church!” is a statement I have heard made by folks on the Left. They don’t have a violent stalker. And they aren’t religious anyway…
Then again, this was California, so she couldn’t purchase a weapon if she tried. Or she could, but she would have been dead before the waiting period was up.
A gun may not have saved this woman. “There are no guarantees in this life save for death and next winter’s snow.” But the system did nothing for her, and even if it worked perfectly, was probably never going to save her from this guy. That isn’t what cops do. They are not your personal bodyguards, unless you are an elected representative of the people. Cops show up after bad things have happened and try to figure who did what. In the few seconds to minutes when bad things are happening, or about to happen, you are on your own. You should plan accordingly.