What Would You Do If You Found a Gator in Your Kitchen?

And I don’t mean a member of The University of Florida football team. Yikes! 11-Foot Alligator Breaks Into Florida Home.

An 11 foot gator broke through a window and got into the kitchen of a house in Clearwater.

The homeowner says it went straight for the wine and broke several bottles.

Another photo shows the mess it made in the kitchen, after knocking over a table and chairs.

The photos are good.

Other alligators in Florida news… May 31st one was outside a Venice, FL drugstore. May 23rd Collier County police had one in the road which needed removal. May 3rd there was a gator interfering with mail deliver in Winter Gardens. Lastly, there is video of a gator out for a stroll in Fort Meyers on April 12th.

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Snake Bites Florida Man

Is this another reason to stay out of the sunshine state? Maybe. Snake slithers out of toilet, bites Florida man on arm.

Coral Springs police spokesman Chris Swinson said the man was treated at the scene after the 4-foot (1.2-meter) snake bit him when he lifted the toilet seat on Sunday morning. The snake is nonvenomous

Definitely Peak Florida.

Gators in the Swimming Pool Aren’t New

A gator on a gator-pool-float, on the other hand… Alligator relaxes on alligator-shaped pool float in South Miami.

In addition to the photo in the linked tweet (below), there is photo montage of pictures from the end of the 2018 alligator hunt at the linked article above. I’m not sure why it is included, except that alligators cry out for more alligators, and the gator in the pool is on the small side.

Florida Woman Vies With Florida Man for Pure Weirdness

Definitely something in the water. Florida woman pulls gator from pants during traffic stop and more of this week’s weirdest news.

From The Charlotte County Sheriff’s Office:

Not to be outdone by #Floridaman, a #FloridaWoman pulled this alligator out of her pants this morning during traffic stop after being asked the standard “Do you have anything else?” She also had 41 3-stripe turtles in the car

Definitely Peak Florida.

Florida Man – Not the Sharpest Tool in the Shed

He was using FaceTime duing his high-speed chase, among other things. Florida Man Caught FaceTiming High-Speed Pursuit While Traveling 110 MPH.

A cop tried to pull him over for “reckless speeding.” That didn’t work.

Hughes reportedly managed to reach speeds between 90 mph and 110 mph. In the meantime, he was seen FaceTiming his experience while driving during various parts of the pursuit.

“It should be noted the defendant was FaceTiming on his phone while I was traveling behind with my lights and sirens activated,” read the officer’s quote in FHP’s statement.

They eventually stopped him with a PIT maneuver.

Police noted that Hughes is a habitual traffic offender with multiple license suspensions on his record. He now faces new charges including driving with a suspended license, fleeing and eluding police, and for the icing on the cake, drug possession.

I’m shocked to discover that criminals don’t follow the law. Or maybe I’m not too shocked.

Does an Alligator Count as Peak Florida?

Only because everyone from the local news to the British Press are talking about it. ‘It was really scary.’ Florida woman finds an alligator peering into her front window.

There is a short video clip of the alligator looking in. I haven’t seen video of it “banging on the window” as is said in virtually every article I’ve read.

The British are really hung up on alligators today. I’m not sure why that is. (Maybe they feel deprived, being crocodilian-free.)

As SiGraybeard pointed out

The alligator has the right of way If the alligator comes to your door, don’t open the door. If you’re not sure, and you don’t see anyone through a peephole, a security camera or something else, ignore the knock and listen for sounds of scratching or clawing..

Given there are RULES covering this, it probably happens more often than you think.

Don’t like alligators? Don’t go to Florida. (Or Georgia, Mississippi, Alabama or Texas.) Or at least stay out of the fresh water. And the brackish water. Crocodiles might be in the saltwater (mostly in The Everglades) and there are also sharks in the saltwater.

Florida Man Strikes Again

There were so many options for the “Florida Man” story today.

This is actually from a while back, but if I had seen the story when it was new, it would definitely have been the Peak Florida. Police: Naked man takes cash, hot dogs from Little League concession stand in Florida. This happened on April 7.

A naked man broke into a concession stand at a Little League baseball field in Florida earlier this month, causing nearly $5,000 worth of damage, the Tampa Bay Times reported.

And this guy gets points for having pallet forks on his tractor. A Florida man didn’t want his wife to leave the house, so he got in his tractor.

Can you guess that they are “estranged?” When she got in her truck to leave, he jumped on his tractor and barreled through a fence.

The victim then said that Stewart used the pallet forks on the front of the tractor to hit her driver side rear window and door. Damage to her vehicle could be clearly seen and matched with her statement, according to the deputy’s report.

My theory is that Global Warming is to blame.