Florida Man Strikes Again

What is it with Florida and golf carts? Florida man drives golf cart into Walmart, tries to hit shoppers before hitting cash register, deputies say.

[The guy with the golf cart] faces multiple counts of aggravated battery, aggravated assault with a motor vehicle, trespassing, resisting arrest, and felony criminal mischief.

Definitely something in the water. (Besides the gators, that is.)

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Chicago Continues to Go Peak Florida

Another gator in Chicago. El Chompo: Cops seize drugs, gun….and 3-foot gator in Northwest Side raid.

Chicago police on Monday night found a three-foot-long alligator as they executed a search warrant in the Irving Park neighborhood.

They found drugs, guns and the gator. Alligators must be the new pit bulls, or something.

Peak Tennessee Gives Peak Florida Some Competition

Meth and alligators don’t mix. Tennessee police warn not to flush drugs down toilet for fear of creating ‘meth-gators’.

Word from The Authorities is “Don’t flush your meth down the toilet.”

But in addition to birds, officials said if the water headed far enough downstream… “it would create meth-gators in Shoal Creek and the Tennessee River down in North Alabama.”

Hat tip to Wirecutter, who says there’s Nothing worse than a tweeker gator.

Stupid Doesn’t Begin to Describe This

A truly epic fail of the victim-selection process, followed by some stunningly bad judgement. Fla. man shot by off-duty deputies he tried to rob.

Yes, you read that correctly, he tried to rob a couple of off-duty sheriff’s deputies.

According to an arrest affidavit, the deputies say Jones pulled a gun to rob them and refused to drop it after they identified themselves and pulled their guns. They say Jones fired shots and they shot him in the leg.

He is lucky they didn’t shoot him in the head. (Probably they wanted to avoid the paper-work involved.)

Self-defense is a human-right. Not realizing you are in deep yogurt if you try to rob a couple of LEOs is beyond dense. He is really lucky to be alive.

What Would You Do If You Found a Gator in Your Kitchen?

And I don’t mean a member of The University of Florida football team. Yikes! 11-Foot Alligator Breaks Into Florida Home.

An 11 foot gator broke through a window and got into the kitchen of a house in Clearwater.

The homeowner says it went straight for the wine and broke several bottles.

Another photo shows the mess it made in the kitchen, after knocking over a table and chairs.

The photos are good.

Other alligators in Florida news… May 31st one was outside a Venice, FL drugstore. May 23rd Collier County police had one in the road which needed removal. May 3rd there was a gator interfering with mail deliver in Winter Gardens. Lastly, there is video of a gator out for a stroll in Fort Meyers on April 12th.

Snake Bites Florida Man

Is this another reason to stay out of the sunshine state? Maybe. Snake slithers out of toilet, bites Florida man on arm.

Coral Springs police spokesman Chris Swinson said the man was treated at the scene after the 4-foot (1.2-meter) snake bit him when he lifted the toilet seat on Sunday morning. The snake is nonvenomous

Definitely Peak Florida.

Gators in the Swimming Pool Aren’t New

A gator on a gator-pool-float, on the other hand… Alligator relaxes on alligator-shaped pool float in South Miami.

In addition to the photo in the linked tweet (below), there is photo montage of pictures from the end of the 2018 alligator hunt at the linked article above. I’m not sure why it is included, except that alligators cry out for more alligators, and the gator in the pool is on the small side.